There are so many bars and clubs in Bris-rael these days it’s hard to keep up. Here’s a girl’s cheat sheet on the men you’re likely to find.
Come back next week for our definitive guy’s guide to Brisbane bars.
In the meantime, (in no particular order):
Cloudland - Friday nights attract the suits where you’re guaranteed to have drinks bought for you. Avoid Saturday night – poorly dressed men in white loafers. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
Limes Hotel - A good mix – 24-plus – good cocktails, depending what functions are on. Mostly slick marketing, advertising and media types. Constance Street – Fortitude Valley.
Cru bar + Cellar - Otherwise known as ” Jurassic Park ” where older ladies kicking on from lunch prey on younger men. Plenty of silicone too. James Street – Fortitude Valley.
Emporium Hotel Meet an out-of-towner on business from Monday to Thursday. Come Friday for high rolling 30-somethings. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
Oh Hello - Attracts a better pool of young professionals and university students since its former dingy days as the Monastery. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
GPO - Give it a miss unless you like house music and 19-year-olds with bad hair. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
Fridays Riverside - Business crowd and suits after 5pm Fridays, mostly private school kids, under 20 and underage Saturdays. Eagle Street – City.
Zuri- A bit more upmarket, although it has the tendency to attract cashed up bogans with its god-awful red and gold interior. Brunswick Street – Fortitude Valley.
Uber – Attracts very young ones on the weekends, older on weeknights, depending what gigs are on over the road. West End – Fortitude Valley.
Kerbside Lounge Bar - Alternative, indie-kids, and hipsters. Good to meet potentials at Friday arvo drinks, the laid back kind. Constance Street – Fortitude Valley.
Bowler Bar - Potential to meet someone in groups mingling outside, although might be same-sex orientated. Attracts the Valley regulars - they’re hip and fashion-forward. Brunswick Street – Fortitude Valley.
Ric’s Bar – Cool kid, likes cheap drinks, might meet the musical, artistic type, and attracts all sorts – emos to indie rockers. Brunswick Street – Fortitude Valley.
Woodland Bar – Find hipsters watching bands, a bit too dark to meet someone – need to go with a group. Go to a week night gig to meet an alternative, indie music-loving, quiet type. Coniston Lane – Fortitude Valley.
The Lark - Meet someone trendy with a bit of taste who likes food, boutique beer and good wine. Can be all couples during the week. Better on a Thursday or Friday. Given Terrace – Paddington.
The Laneway - It’s small, above Euro and Urbane. Late 20s and early 30s looking for a quiet drink. A little bit sophisticated, professional. Mary St – Brisbane.
Sling Bar – Funky, alternative, loves a well-made drink, well-travelled, can have a real conversation, also attracts a mixed bag of locals. Good place to start the night. Boundary Street – West End.
The Met - Avoid unless you want to relive your trance phase from your early 20s. He’s wearing a singlet, dancing the weekend away until he’s due on site Monday morning. Wickham Street – Fortitude Valley.
Malt Dining - Attracts the trendy, fashion-forward type of guy with cash to spend. Wears a suit, meet him for after-work drinks, likes it because it’s classier than the Friday’s crowd. Market St – Brisbane.
The Bowery - He likes jazz, he’s a smooth operator, enjoys live swing bands and a good atmosphere, drinks American whiskey. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
Archive - Find a boutique beer-sipping, guitar-playing, neo-hippy who loves a round of pool. Boundary Street – West End.
Canvas - He’s on a date, or has a keen interest in the emerging Gabba food scene. Possibly mid 20s to 30s, knows a good wine list when he see one. Logan Rd – Wooloongabba.
Sky Room - Enjoys décor as much as a well-made drink. Can talk about culture, knows about art, appreciates 1950s design. Wickham Street – Fortitude Valley.
Laruche - He’s lively, charismatic, doesn’t mind a drink. Can be found with a posse of female and male friends. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
Press Club - Looking for someone other than an international student or backpacker? Make a beeline for the outdoor area. Ages vary, some rough cuts, but a few gems. Brunswick St – Fortitude Valley.
X and Y - Head to the VIP area on a Saturday night for up and coming bands, chances are a few groupies may have gotten there before you. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
The Zoo - Knows everyone in the music scene if he’s a regular. A bit hip, buys EPS released on vinyl. Ann St – Fortitude Valley.
Black Bear Lodge - Gig-loving and alternative, marches to his own beat. Attracts groups of hipster guys typically aged 20-25. Brunswick Street – Fortitude Valley.